Saturday, May 25, 2019
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Town league hockey playoffs open on fire

Dumps, crap and the like

by Than Acuff

I hope you raised a glass for National Moscow Mule Day on Sunday, March 3. If you didn’t already know, the classic cocktail consists of these simple ingredients: vodka, ginger beer and lime. But don’t let that fool you when it comes to calorie count—one Moscow Mule made with traditional vodka can run over 130 calories.

Ah, the benefits of being a part of a newspaper—crap promo emails about crap, like the Moscow Mule. Sounds like some sorta commie stuff. Which brings me to other crap emails I get about communist plots (really? still?). Careful what you click on.

But Facebook has got me pegged, Bassnectar shows (apparently I like EDM), ski deals and trail running shoes. Yeah, got me there, I love trail running.

But not nearly as much as I love town league hockey playoffs and it is on, people, as the post-season opened at Big Mine Ice Arena on Monday, March 4.

Wait a minute, this email just came in…

Hi Than,

It doesn’t take the Luck o’ the Irish to have a delicious, low-calorie cocktail during St. Patrick’s Day! These spirited-cocktails featuring KEEL Vodka, a premium lighter vodka with low ABV (23.8%), are easy-to-make and will help you stay balanced throughout the festivities. Plus, with KEEL, you can avoid high-calorie beer! If you’re working on any stories where these cocktails could be a fit, please let me know. Happy to send hi-res images and samples as available.



Hi Brooke,

I am more than happy to accept a box o’ samples because, as you can see, I am in need o’ some copy for a story right now where this cocktail you speak of could sort o’ fit.



P.S. I would like to recommend a bumper sticker.

Drink until you KEEL o’ver!

She sounds kind o’ perky. Did she offer to send me some hi-res images o’ herself?

As I was saying, the post-season opened on Monday, March 4, but I missed that, so I headed over on Tuesday, March 5 to catch Kochevar’s and Clark’s Market lock horns for three periods of high-intensity hockey with relegation to the losers bracket on the line. Mind you, not elimination, just relegation, which is a nice way to extend the hockey season leaving the door open ever so slightly for a chance to still make it to the finals.

Kochevar’s has yet to reach their full potential this season, perhaps saving it for the post-season. Clark’s Market’s play has been schizophrenic in the games that I have seen as they mix in some of the best hockey with some of the not-so-best hockey. Fortunately, they possess a grit that gets them through the rough times, much like the grit that crew needs to shovel the roof of Big Mine Ice Arena right now. Based on the average weight of snow per cubic foot as 12 pounds, my math skills tell me (I did score a 620 on the math SAT) they have a sh** ton of snow to move.

Meanwhile, under all of that snow, 10 fans and a Rewk pressed glass to watch the two teams open the game at playoff pace screaming up and down the ice for the first four minutes.

Niki O’Connor fired a shot for Kochevar’s, Evan Albanese skated back the other way to fire a shot for Clark’s, Kochevar’s returned fire again and a flurry of Clark’s goalie Montana Wiggins’ pads, glove, blocker and stick denied them all.

Kochevar’s broke the seal on Wiggins’ net on a power play seven minutes into the first period as Guy Cuilla circled all of the way out of the Clark’s zone, through neutral ice and then back into the zone to shoot. Wiggins made the stop but Ryan Maddux was in place to punch it home for a 1-0 Kochevar’s lead.

Two minutes later Maddux struck again as he took a long pass from Paul O’Connor to net to score and it looked like Kochevar’s had finally found their groove this year.

But, as I mentioned earlier, grit gets Clark’s through the tough times and they responded a minute later as Kochevar’s goalie Roan Perschke denied Strange Brew Drew Layman’s attempted wraparound only to have Robert Heminger score on the rebound.

Kochevar’s struck a third time in the opening minute of the second period as Brynn O’Connell battled with Tim Clark behind the Clark’s net to eventually set up Maddox for his third and final allowable goal (per league rules) of the game.

O’Connell then got on the scoring end of the next Kochevar’s goal as she took a pass from Paul and slipped it past Wiggins for a 4-1 Kochevars lead.

Clark’s never once showed signs of distress though as they proceeded to climb back in the game over the next period and a half. Junior Silva finally provided a much-needed presence in front of the net for Clark’s and his efforts bore fruit as he tipped a shot from Jimmy Davidson past Perschke.

By the time the middle of the third period rolled around, Alex Banas was circling the rink handing out Cold Snacks, the fan base grew 20 strong and the teams were laying it all out on the ice. Clark’s Market, much like their parking lot, thrives under chaos, though. Geza Michel fed the puck into the beast from the point, players panicked, players fell, players swatted but Davidson stood tall amongst the human rubble to poke the puck past Perschke and cut Kochevar’s lead down to one.

Clark’s continued grinding, Kochevar’s bordered on folding, but time was dwindling and eventually expiring on Clark’s Market as they ultimately fell 4-3, relegating them to the losers bracket. Again, down, but not out, o’ course.

Did I mention Monday, March 4 was National Grammar Day? So there’s that.

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