Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Ska Brewing skates past Eldo

Four more years and the lattice of coincidence

by Than Acuff

Well, it should come as no surprise that the Senate impeachment trial failed and as the Democratic candidates just finished bumping uglies trying to fit their egos through diners and barns in Iowa, and waiting on an app, the king sits on his throne tweeting and stuffing the pipes, leaving the plumbers no choice but to pull the entire toilet and throw it in the neighbor’s yard.

Get ready. You think the first four years were weird—these next four are going to be insane.

“I’m King in here.”

I’d be angrier but I just got great news that my lobes are symmetrical, so there’s that.

Then, we got to witness a schoolyard spat. I can just see the follow up from my first grade teacher Ms. Conklin.

“What’s going on here you two?”

“Ms. Conklin? Nancy, Nancy, Nancy… she toh up my speech.”

“But, but, but… Donnie started it. He didn’t shake my hand. I puht it owt like this and he didn’t shake it.”

“No, no, no… you started it. You said mean things about me and you and your fwiends said I shouldn’t be pwesident.”

“But, but, but…. But I wuz angwy because you were being bad and that’s not right. Ms. Conklin? You said we shuld be nice to everyone and he, he, he… he’s not nice.”

It is almost exactly how things went down between me and Luis Goyicalya in first grade when I kicked him in the finger, he didn’t take my apology and then tore the brim off my baseball hat.

Hold on for the next four years as our country’s conscience continues to get paddled on a daily basis sending everyone’s moral compass spinning.

Thank you, sir, may I have another.

For some reason lately, I’m reminded of the classic burn can scene from Repo Man discussing the “lattice of coincidence that lays on top of everything.”

“There ain’t no difference between a flying saucer and a time machine. People get so hung up on specifics, they miss out on seeing the whole thing.”

That said, Ska Brewing skated to a 4-2 win over the Eldo Thursday night and appears to be one of the big shifters in town league hockey with their bench full of a couple fives, a four, some outstanding threes, exceptional women and a quality goaltender.

Their initial issue was the penalty box as early infractions by Ska Brewing opened up a couple of powerplays for the Eldo and they capitalized on the opportunity to open the game taking a 2-0 lead on goals by William Muller.

But as the first period progressed, Ska Brewing started gaining momentum, coming to a head in the seventh minute as a fracas in front of the Eldo net led to a goal by Kent Preston.

Dylan Curtiss and Dan Loftus set the pace for their Ska Brewing teammates up the ice through the rest of the first period, with Brandon “Lurch” Blomberg (that’s right, Lurch is back in town league), Ashley Brown, Jeff Duke and Steve Curtiss held down things defensively.

The teamwork of Ska Brewing made the difference as they eventually tied the game up 2-2 before the close of the first period, with Dylan finding the five-hole on a defenseman and then finding the five-hole on the goalie.

Dylan tried the same move to open the second period but Eldo goalie Hunter “Deny” Donleavy dun shut Dylan down to keep the two teams notched at deuces.

Eventually the father-son Curtiss combo came to fruition midway through the second period, as Steve slipped a long pass to Dylan and Dylan did the honors to push the puck past Donleavy.

Ska Brewing struck once more in the second period when Blomberg blasted a shot just over the crossbar and off the glass behind the net. Some heads ducked, others spun but Andrea Schumacher failed to flinch, keeping her eye on the prize to punch the puck past Donleavy and a host of players for a 4-2 Ska Brewing lead.

Donleavy did rise to the challenge in the third period but so did Ska net minder Devon “Camarillo Brillo” Carillo, as the two teams fought hard through the final period. The Eldo was in the process of mounting one final surge but when an Eldo defenseman shared some not-so-holy communion with Blomberg along the boards, a penalty ensued, leaving the Eldo short-handed in the final minutes of the game to help secure the 4-2 Ska Brewing win.

“I think a lot about this kind of stuff. I do my best thinking on the bus.”

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