Sunday, September 23, 2018
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Eldo puts hurt on hapless Hares

Playoffs open next week

by Than Acuff

Okay, okay. This is the last time I will speak of the future either First Lady, or in my opinion, future President of the United States of America, Melania Trump.

I’ve written about her credentials to be in one of the most powerful positions in the world and I will review them once again in case you missed the past two weeks.

First, she possesses an icy demeanor that leads me to think she will kick ass and take names.

Second, she is stone cold foxy and could melt the icy soul of any world leader and convince them to do whatever we want. Kind of like a Jedi Mind Trick but hotter.

Third, English is her second language and therefore could serve as inspiration for the many people for whom English is a second language in this great American melting pot.

And now there’s something new that makes her even more qualified to be our next president. It seems she may have a strong link to the LGBT community, given the recent revelation of photos of her seemingly lesbian activity in the mid-’90s.

Wham, Bam, Bam, Bam, thank you ma’am.

Melania. Melania. Melania.

Speaking of wham, bam, bam, bam, the Eldo put the hurt on the Hares Tuesday evening at Gothic field and look to be in top form when the post-season opens next week.

It was about as subdued a game as I’ve seen all season and the teams were locked in a scoreless tie until the Eldo woke up to build a 5-0 lead.

Sohrob Nimrouzi and Alex Fracchia opened it up with a couple of base hits followed by a RBI single from Jake Meyer. Phoebe Clift dropped a bloop single to load the bases and Will Jones cracked a two-RBI single. Jeff Banford tacked on another Eldo run with a sac-fly RBI and Vince Scola finished the early surge with a RBI double for a 5-0 Eldo lead.

The Hares managed to score their first run in the top of the third when Kent Fulton doubled and scored on a base hit from Dave Clement but then fell silent and the Eldo poured it on in the bottom of the third inning.

Things started off well for the Hares defensively as Fracchia popped out and Luke McMullen scooped up a single to the outfield and fired to Doug Mason at third to tag out a runner but the wheels then fell completely off. Or, rather, the Eldo bats turned red hot as they opened up for a two-out, nine-run rally and we get to the point in the article when I try to get as many names as possible into the paper with a series of short sentences.

Clift connected for a RBI single. Jones then doubled off the fence in centerfield. Jess Ladwig singled to shallow center to score two more runs. Banford doubled. Carly Webb then switch hit to punch a two-RBI double up the middle. Scola and Sarah Chesebrough combined for a couple of singles to score another Eldo run. Nimrouzi returned to the plate for a second time that inning to knock a RBI single. Fracchia reloaded the bases with a base hit to shallow left and Meyer capped the outburst with a bad hop grounder turned two-RBI double for a 14-1 Eldo lead.

The Hares showed some life in the top of the fourth inning when Sam Lumb, Zane Wrisley and Taylor “Short Shorts” Britton loaded the bases with a series of singles. Mason pushed two home with another single, followed by Brian Brown and Kent Fulton doing the same. But just when the Hares started doing what they do, they did what they also do as the next batter struck out to quash the comeback bid.

The Eldo was pretty much done with what they needed to do as well offensively. They tacked on three more runs over the next two innings and let their defense do the rest to finish of the Hares 17-6.

The regular season closes out this Thursday and things start to seriously ramp up on Tuesday, August 9 with the opening round of the playoffs.

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