The Crested Butte News Serving the Gunnison Valley since 1999
“No, we ride motorcycles”
“When we do right nobody remembers. When we do wrong, nobody forgets.”
—Hells Angels Motorcycle Club motto
Personally, I still remember the things the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club (HAMC) did right last time they played softball in Gunnison, i.e. lots of home runs and handing out ice cream sandwiches, and forgot all about the things they did wrong, i.e. lots of errors.
In fact, if memory serves, they had a pretty good team and I was anticipating another classic showdown for the rematch eight years in the making. The stands were packed at Jorgenson Field on Saturday, July 31 to see if the Hells Angels would exact revenge on a local squad of Gunnison Valley softball players.
The game was billed, albeit informally, as a “Grudge” match between the Hells Angels and Gunnison’s Finest (Rednecks).
The first time these two teams met, the Gunnison softball team held off a late-game rally by the Hells Angels to edge out a 23-19 win.
HAMC rider “Big Ed” did most of the damage, jacking four dingers in the game, including a grand slam.
This time around, the local squad consisted of a mix of players from Gunnison teams as well as a legion of Colorado FreeSkier players from the north end of the valley.
Unfortunately, there was no sign of Big Ed, though there were plenty of other players who could have easily been a Big Ed—or Big anything, for that matter.
It was apparent that the HAMC was there to play. Not only did they have uniforms printed up just for the occasion, they spent the better part of an hour before the game working on the fundamentals of softball.
“All we got to do, guys, is hit the cutoff,” said one player.
“Guys, don’t rush your throws—take your time,” said another.
Just like the last time the HAMC was in town and played softball, names were difficult to acquire. I approached what appeared to be the HAMC softball team manager as he was putting together the line-up and innocently asked for names. It went something like this.
“Can I get the names of the players in the line-up?” I asked.
“No,” responded the “manager.”
“How about just first names?”
The request was followed by an uncomfortable pause complete with a look from the manager that said, you’re kidding me right? So I thought I would state my case.
“You see, um, sir, I thought you guys might like some positive press and…”
“NO,” he again answered.
I pressed on. “Nicknames?”
At that point he stopped writing down the line-up to look straight at me and say one more time, this time with a little more conviction: “NO… Thanks for asking, though.”
His tone was enough to let me know our conversation was over. Besides, he had to focus on the task at hand—winning a ball game.
In an effort to establish parity between the two teams, the Hells Angels were offered four outs per inning and had five, sometimes six, players in the outfield.
The game opened with a bang.
HAMC player “Charlie” squibbed a grounder down the first base line and Gunnison first baseman Ryan Wahlstrom scooped it up, looking to toss to the pitcher, who should have been covering the bag.
Instead, confusion ensued and Wahlstrom was forced to make the play himself and that’s when two worlds collided, literally.
Wahlstrom, standing 6’5” weighing 220-230 pounds, stepped on the bag at the exact moment Charlie, who is far from 6’5” but close to 220 pounds, did. Neither one of them saw the other one coming but Charlie lost in the end, as he was sent reeling into foul territory. Tie went to the runner and Charlie shook it off like it was nothing.
Two batters later, the HAMC was on the scoreboard with a two-run shot over the right field fence and confidence was high among the HAMC fans.
That is until the Gunnison team stepped up to bat in the bottom of the first inning.
I would imagine it’s a tough call to make. Do you play 100 percent, running the risk of completely humiliating the HAMC or throw the game, which can be equally humiliating?
Gunnison opened full throttle, at least at the plate, crushing three home runs to take a 7-2 lead, including a two-run inside the park home run from Mervin Ormiston, and a two-run crusher from Ben Lokie over the centerfield fence.
The Gunnison pitcher was working a fast delivery style on the mound in the top of the second inning that was handcuffing the HAMC at the plate. So much so that the HAMC third base coach asked him to slow it down.
When he didn’t, the third base coach changed his tone from asking, to insist, “HEY…SLOW IT DOWN PITCH!”
At which point the Gunnison pitcher acquiesced.
The HAMC scored a couple more runs in the top of the third, led by a single from an Orange County Prospect and a RBI double from “Jammer,” but Gunnison responded with five runs of their own, capped by a three-run dinger from John Wilcox for a 12-4 lead.
At this point it appeared the Gunnison team realized it would be better off for everyone to ease back. I wouldn’t go as far as to say they were looking to throw the game completely, but—just let things go.
The Hells Angels took the opportunities when presented, scoring runs off hits from “Little Willy” and “Big Chris.” One thing was for certain, they charged the base paths like they ride their motorcycles: full throttle.
The Hells Angels pulled back into the game by the sixth inning tying it up 14-14 on a three-run home run from “Jammer” and were looking good. So much so that a local fan asked one “patched” member in the stands if they practice, to which he responded, “No, we ride motorcycles.”
Lokie knocked his third home run of the game in the bottom of the sixth to put the Gunnison team back on top 19-15 and things were starting to get ugly. But Hells Angels first baseman “Charlie” stopped the bleeding, so to speak, chasing down three foul balls for all three outs to hold Gunnison in check.
The Hells Angels set the stage for another late-game surge in the top of the ninth. Down 25-16 with the bases loaded, they called in their “designated hitter” from out of the stands.
The guy looked the part of the “designated hitter” and not just for softball. I imagine he is the club’s designated hitter in other ways as well.
Nevertheless, after the manager came running out to the batter’s box for some last-minute instructions, i.e. remove the hitter’s large knife from his belt, the “designated hitter” dug in for glory only to ground out and end the game.
Or so we all thought. But, never ones to give up, the Hells Angels asked for extra innings. Unfortunately, that turned out to be a bad call as the game went from bad to worse for them.
Gunnison proceeded to knock in 11 more runs in the bottom of the ninth and eventually take the game 36-22.
Kids gathered at the Hells Angels bench after the game to get game balls signed by the players, and the club fired up their bikes and rolled on out of the park, filling the Gunnison Valley with the sound of Rolling Thunder.
