“Athletes” battle elements in Coal Creek Triathlon comp

“I’m not nervous, I’m good at dumb things”

Man vs. man vs. nature vs. nurture vs. man vs. self vs. good judgment—the Coal Creek Triathlon (CCT) has it all.
Last year’s inaugural event had 11 intrepid thrill seekers/athletes line up for the race, but with an attrition rate of nearly 50 percent, the field was cut down to just six starters on Friday, July 4 for the second annual CCT.
And to call it a triathlon is a bit of a stretch because as far as one could tell, there’re really only two disciplines involved—creeking and yogging.
The event is special in so many ways but first and foremost, the event is special in that it draws a wide range of competitors. Over the past year, the event garnered the attention of noted “hair-boaters,” who typically come to town for steep creeks and the Black Canyon. One Czechoslovakian boater, Jakob Bumbleknowski, took time from his busy schedule to drop in on the CCT, as did Scottie Mann.
Bumbleknowski has seen his fair share of the dark side, but when it comes to triathlons, specifically the Coal Creek Triathlon, he’s a rookie.
“I’ve got a lot of experience under my belt but this is my first one,” said Bumbleknowski as he adjusted his shin pads during the race meeting.
On the other end of the spectrum is a contingent of local talent, i.e., Josh Bebo, Trailer Court Jimmy and Matty Robb.
Bebo is up for just about anything. Trailer Court Jimmy was using the triathlon to get his river running legs back after a near disaster on a river several years ago.
“I kayaked the Snake outside of Jackson and ran Lunch Counter once… once,” explained Jimmy. “This is my reintroduction.”
Robb is the defending CCT champion and came into this year’s event with a target on his back and a tie on his neck. Despite the pressure to defend his title, Robb took it all in stride.
“I’m not nervous, I’m good at dumb things,” said Robb.
The bridge between both worlds would be Milosadik Wishecudski. Equally adept at both the mundane and insane, Wishecudski came into this year’s race focused. Last year, the smack talk and his homebrew of jungle juice rendered him senseless. This year, Wishecudski steered clear of his homebrew and was fully supported with a Bowflex sponsorship in place.
The CCT is somewhat loose on the rules. With a governing body mostly non-existent, the choice of watercraft to run Coal Creek is up to each athlete. Pool toys, air mattresses, inflatable kid’s rafts, sleeping pads, inner tubes, it’s all allowed. Not everything is recommended, but everything is allowed.
The race involves running Coal Creek and then running to the bar, and starts with a neutral stroll out of town to the west end of Coal Creek as athletes battle through mosquitoes and willows into the wilderness where any mishap can turn into an epic extraction. Flipping in that section of Coal Creek can be treacherous, with no emergency services within a five-block radius.

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Or, you could just stand up and walk out but that’s beside the point, this triathlon is the real deal. No aid stations, no SPOT trackers, no nothing.
Furthermore, the date of the CCT changes from year to year so you never know until race day what the flows are like in Coal Creek.
It just so happens with a July 4 date, flows were somewhat low and the classification somewhat dubious.
“It’s high class,” said Bebo.
Robb was a bit more scientific.
“Sometimes low flow ups the class rating from one and a half to two and a third,” said Robb.
The six racers dropped in and by the time they exited the Wilderness section and were headed into the Concrete Jungle, three were forced out of the race as their watercrafts were rendered useless.
Wishecudski came into the Concrete Jungle with a sizeable lead, followed by Bumbleknowski and Trailer Court Jimmy in third.
Given his lead, Wishecudski decided to make the most of his run, throwing in freestyle moves when and where possible.
He continued his efforts through the Great Divide section by Coal Creek Grill, mixing right side threes with left side threes before dropping the left channel.
Bumbleknowski remained in second place and Trailer Court Jimmy negotiated his pool lounger through the gnar to remain afloat, somewhat, and make it to the exit at Totem Pole Park for the sprint finish back to the Eldo.
Wishecudski held his lead to the finish line with Bumbleknowski in second and Trailer Court Jimmy in third, while Robb, Mann and Bebo were left with unofficial DNFs.
Robb took the DNF in stride, pointing out the slings and arrows of the CCT.
“I felt great, I learned some stuff,” said Robb. “There’s no way to prepare yourself for all of the obstacles you will encounter.”
Trailer Court Jimmy was pleased with his effort, pointing out the fine line between running Coal Creek and actually running down sections of Coal Creek.
“I didn’t float, I was just on something going down,” said Jimmy.
For Wishecudski it was just another day, another title and another way for him to give the people what they want.
“I did a flat spin behind Ryce and people’s mouths dropped open full of chow mein,” said Wishecudski. “I eddied out a couple times to say hi and talked up some girls.”