Rent-A-Gades smash Mustache Bashers in comp league

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If there was ever a time for a rain-out, Monday night was it. With only nine players total showing up for the game, the Mustache Bashers were destined for an ass-whupping by the fully locked and loaded Rent-A-Gades. But stormy skies were brewing and it looked as if the Bashers might be spared the beat-down. Unfortunately for them, the clouds just hung there and the Bashers were hung out to dry as the Rent-A-Gades connected for an unprecedented 37 hits over six innings, pummeling the Mustache Bashers 29-4.
The Rent-A-Gades started it off in the bottom of the first inning and never really let off the gas.
Bashers starting pitcher Rhett Yarborough struggled early, walking two of the first four Rent-A-Gades hitters and pulled himself off the mound. The early switch proved fruitless as the Rent-A-Gades lit up the new guy for seven hits in a row to take a 7-0 lead.
Justin Wheeler opened the early run with an RBI double, Leah Fischer followed with an RBI single, Jeff Snyder added an RBI single up the middle and Peace Wheeler, Rob Weisbaum and Jerry Heal closed the surge with three more RBI base hits.
The Mustache Bashers adjusted their defense in an effort to slow down the Rent-A-Gades, switching to three infielders and four outfielders but the move did little to stem the Rent-A-Gades onslaught as they tacked on five more runs in the bottom of the second inning.
Jeff Banford led off with an opposite field double and scored off a base hit by Heather Duryea. Josh Schumacher tripled and the same Rent-A-Gades who lit it up in the first inning struck again in the second to put the Rent-A-Gades up 12-0 heading into the third inning.
It was here that a little classic soccer stalling technique might have been a good idea for the Bashers. With only two innings in the books and rain threatening, “injury” stalling might have given the Bashers just the break they needed. But the Bashers don’t play that—they take it on the chin and keep on going.
It didn’t help matters for the Bashers that the Rent-A-Gades are more than just big bats as their defense pulled off some highlights in the field as well.
Emma Vosburg cracked a grounder to third and was destined to beat out the throw until Peace Wheeler dug the low toss-out of the dirt at first for the out. Snyder ran in a complete circle in shallow center to grab a high fly caught in the wind and Schumacher charged in from third base to make a shoestring grab, robbing Erica “Oh” Canada of a shallow pop power bunt single.
Andrea Schumacher added some power of her own to the Rent-A-Gades offense in the bottom of the third inning, slapping a two-RBI double to the gap in centerfield and Nathan Lacy stepped up to the plate for the first time that evening and swung at the first pitch to crush a three-run home run over the left field netting, for a 20-0 Rent-A-Gades lead.
The Mustache Bashers finally got on the scoreboard in the top of the fourth inning as Katherine Oliver hustled for an infield single and eventually scored on a single by Kyle Anderson.
Never one to be outdone in the highlight reel, Anderson added in some of his own heroics in the bottom of the fourth when he sprinted to the gap in centerfield for a diving grab to rob Molly Keating of an extra base hit. The effort, while heroic, did little to stop the Rent-A-Gades as they proceeded to score eight more runs in the bottom of the fourth inning.
Amidst the beat-down was a back-story though—two, really. First of all, Keating is back in action and is flirting with going yard thanks to the new 11-inch softballs being used for women in comp league. Secondly, Heal ran the bases, not once but twice.
As a testament to the Mustache Bashers’ resolve, despite being down 28-1 they continued to play, and play hard. Their bats finally turned hot in the top of the fifth as Vosburg led off with a single and Nick Catmur doubled to deep right field. Willy Coburn singled to score one and Yarborough drove a two-RBI triple to right to cut the Rent-A-Gades lead down to… 24.
Keating flirted with a dinger in the bottom of the fifth inning when she tripled off the fence in center and eventually scored for the final run of the night, as the Rent-A-Gades finished out the 29-4 win.
“That was ugly last night,” commented Coburn the following day. “But hey, at least we aren’t Brazil!”