The Crested Butte News Serving the Gunnison Valley since 1999
Where did the spirits come from?
[ Kris Brittle ]
On a recent inspection of their soon-to-be-complete vacation property, the McCoy family noticed a strange sound coming from their secondary media and entertainment room.
“We walked in and heard this shivering voice. It kept repeating the words: U-u-u-u-g-g-g-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly, U-u-u-u-g-g-g-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly, Ou-ou-ou-ou-t of place, place, place, place…”
The family says they were immediately confused. They purchased the most expensive lot in the town’s most exclusive neighborhood. They hired the most expensive architects, builders and materials. “Our side door costs more than a waiter here makes in two years. How could it not be perfect?”
Situated next to a historic graveyard dating back to the coal mining days (or before), Slaperture is the newest high-end development to plop down in the upper valley. It is billed as having access to town, while avoiding town building rules and that is appealing to pretty much everyone.
“Apparently it’s haunted! If we had known, we never would have bought and built here,” says Jeb McCoy.
Town manager Sara MacChronic responded to the criticism. “Well, if you actually used your eyes, logic and reason, you’d know it is next to a…cemetery. Ghosts were always a potential issue but that’s a county problem. Ask Jonathan about it since he probably is related to some of those ghosts.” MacChronic says she empathizes with the new homeowners and their supernatural tenants. But she also says that no one was forced to build house next to the only place dead people are kept in the upper valley. “What did you think would happen? Ghosts are people too.”
“Can’t we just dig them up and move them?” Asked Dick Pennymore, a future Slaperture owner.
“No,” said MacChronic. “We have to draw the line somewhere. We already sold the town to Bud Light, Black Rock, the Dodgers and Vail. We already let second homeowners buy their way out of the ADU rule. We already are thinking of shutting down access to McCormick Ranch so a commuting couple can feel more environmental in their fourth home. But, if the price is right, I guess the council would consider it…”
