Blizzards, developments, lizard people and more…

The theme for early 2025 is apparently more. More snow! More development in the corridor! More people fired by a couple billionaires who find glee in doing that. Weird times to say the least.

It worked! Putting a story on last week’s front page of the News with the headline “Drought conditions return to Upper Gunnison Basin” (Jinx!) immediately set the Universe in motion and we got about 39 inches of snow in two-and-a-half days. Yessss! You’re welcome. That should bring us back into the reasonable range of our normal mid-winter snowpack.

The blizzard brought not only the holiday weekend crowds but the local smiles, packed buses and long lift lines (in part because the lifts weren’t always spinning all the time). Kudos as always to the CBMR ski patrol for getting a lot of the goods open safely and in a reasonable time given the major dumpage. Someone asked me why one of the patrol managers was calling “front row!” at the NFL early in the storm cycle when that could probably have been done by a yellow coat or a CBMR desk jockey, but it’s probably because they do what they do to keep the herd (us) running as a pack. Thank you.

People also ask me why the ski lifts no longer provide a trivia question of the day and I have no idea. Perhaps because they’ve asked them all? One of the last ones I heard about was “What’s my favorite sandwich?” That’s getting down there.

Well, maybe we don’t need a North Valley corridor plan after all. One of the biggest parcels along the highway between Crested Butte and CB South has entered the Gunnison County planning pipeline and there is a bit of potential density there. 

The Lower Verzuh Ranch parcel located about four miles south of CB is now in the sketch plan phase with county planners. The 450-acre property is asking for 301 lots ranging from three acres to 1/8 of an acre. All but the 45 1/8 acre lots would “be allowed” to have one Accessory Dwelling Unit (ADU) unit so there could be 557 new homes on the parcel. The biggest houses could meet “county size regulations” which limits them to 5,000 square feet (7,000 square feet for all buildings on a site). The property touches Buckhorn to the east and Hidden River to the south.

One stated goal is to honor the local ranching legacy of the area. Houses would be kept about 1,000 feet from Highway 135 and that space would be used as a hay meadow. There is a park, community center, sports courts (pickleball hopefully!), a soccer and baseball field, trails, 275 acres of open space and a possible bus stop. They say there is plenty of water and East River San will take care of the poop.

It all looks good on paper but don’t think that having this new subdivision in the corridor won’t change the feel of the North Valley. Inevitable perhaps, but here we go…(again).

Now let me propose how to use other people’s money…(again)….

Given this submittal along with the 119 lot Starview subdivision proposal south of Cement Creek Road, and 252 units in Whetstone by Brush Creek, perhaps it is time (beyond time?) for the county to clearly institute at least a few requirements for new developments. I like some of the ideas from the Starview group on providing small, affordable “patio” houses with a light deed restriction. I like the Lower Verzuh Ranch idea of “allowing” small one-bedroom ADUs, but maybe it’s time to require clear expectations of mandating workforce housing as a certain percentage of any development.

During a recent Crested Butte council discussion on parks and recreation, the idea was brought up to charge nearby developments impact fees to be put toward the town parks and recreation amenities that will inevitably be used by new residents. Sure, it makes sense to include a park, community center and soccer field in a new development but it also makes sense to charge what would in essence be the equivalent of a “tap fee” used for water and sewer services. It shouldn’t be hard to determine what would be a reasonable fee for each house proposed given that it’s just a math equation, and as long as there is a nexus between what is paid and what services would be provided, who could argue against it? 

In that vein, a mass transit fee seems appropriate as well. The RTA buses bringing people up valley and the Mountain Express buses shuttling people to the ski area from Crested Butte were all taxed to the max a lot of time during this last storm. Adding 1,500 to 2,000 new people with just these two developments will not make parking any easier in CB so (I hate to admit this) expanding bus service and pushing people to use it might have to be the ticket.

Our little valley at the end of the road is reaching its capacity. Adding hundreds and hundreds of new lots and units for literally thousands of new people over the next 10, 20 or 30 years should come with a price that makes sense. 

Speaking of capacity…Maybe there is something to the idea that lizard people from the Alpha Draconis star system are actually in charge of the world governments (Google it). How else to explain the cold-blooded indifference on display from the world’s richest man stopping food aid to the poorest people on the planet and running around like the proverbial bull in a china shop breaking as much china as possible as quickly as possible. What the heck is that weird dude from South Africa doing to our government? 

I keep hearing how Elon is sniffing out loads of fraud and waste but haven’t seen documented concrete examples, just bloviating. The fact is that government can and should work for all of us. In the last 50 years the government workforce hasn’t changed much in size, but the U.S. population has grown by 68%. Contractors now outnumber federal workers so all this random and heartless firing of government workers will just make the things that government does well (or okay) harder. 

Air traffic control support staff? Let’s fire a bunch of them, because really, what could go wrong? Public lands management? Lose those slackers! I actually emailed local and regional public lands offices this week to see the regional situation and have not received a definitive response. Someone in the know told me the Gunnison and Paonia ranger districts have lost about 10 employees between them. Sigh. The bums working on the nation’s nuclear weapons programs! Lock ‘em out. Your IRS refund? Good luck seeing that as there might be three people still around to process it. Social Security? Tick, tick, tick.

Elon seems to relish being an asshole. You can make things more “efficient” by using a scalpel instead of a baseball bat. Donald doesn’t seem to have the slightest understanding of how stuff might work better in an empathetic way. Those two pals just seem to want to break stuff.

And frankly, I don’t understand the current US Congress. Letting Donald and Elon castrate a branch of government without anesthesia is something to behold. The power of being a senator or Congressional representative must be a hypnotic elixir. To want to be reelected above all else, including the idea of standing by principles and character is amazing to watch.

I have some hope that our current congressman, Jeff Hurd, has not yet fallen into the power tequila bottle and will stand up when the time comes to be a “Main Street” Republican that represents us here in the independent Western Slope of Colorado. I have hope that instead of being another GOP lackey afraid to speak up against obvious wrongs, he might do the right thing knowing his new job could be in jeopardy. Let him know what you think by calling his Washington office at (202) 225-4676.  His office # in GJ is (970) 208-0455.

More snow, more development in the corridor, more people fired! Weird times indeed to start off early 2025. Maybe we should run a front page headline declaring Donald is everyone’s favorite and should never leave. Jinx! Let the Universe work…

—Mark Reaman