Area man goes on KAYV-inspired spending spree after jingle overload (April Fool’s)

“Have you seen our modular homes lately?”

by Ivan Inkling

A turn of the dial to the KAYV at 4 p.m. Tuesday afternoon sent local man Lonny Clowd into a spending spree tailspin and left him confused but comfortable at Mt. Princeton Hot Springs Resort.

The second KAYV was in the ear, he was inspired to get down to the Hashish Hut to get up. Initially he wondered, “Where could it be?” Only to find out it was “downtown across from big City Market.”

After buying an assortment of wax, shatter and top-shelf buds, he was at the whim of “Gunnison’s only commercial radio station” and cruising down Highway 50 jamming to the Cars, Tom Petty and Steve Miller.

As he headed down Monarch Pass, he heard a strange noise in his car and stopped by Town and Country Salida, your hometown dealer, to pick up a new or pre-owned Ford, Chevrolet, Dodge, Jeep, Chrysler, Oldsmobileeee, Buick.

“It was the customer testimonial that really got me,” says Clowd. “It’s true, they were waiting for me.”

With a fresh set of wheels and more “shatter” to get through, he headed up a nearby drainage and was soon enjoying the historic bathhouse at Mt. Princeton Hot Springs.

“While I was confused and scared, they really treated me as well as they treat the locals and I relaxed, stayed and played,” says Clowd. “I’m gonna make it my favorite hometown resort. I think I might move here just as soon as I get to Great Western Homes. I still have not seen one of their modular homes lately.”

Days later Clowd was seen entering Durango Organics for the D O difference.

“I’m here for biking, hiking and… well, you know what I mean,” says Clowd. “So I can be smiling in no time. Money is running a little low, though. Thank God I got Thad Shull working on my retirement, I’m going to get 14 percent on my return over 15 years.”

The KAYV then proceeded to rewind and rock Clowd again.

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