The Crested Butte News Serving the Gunnison Valley since 1999
Staying true to the name and the mission
[ By Cathleen Speckels ]
The Gunnison Valley Meth Rec district this week realized that spending money on outdoor recreation was a big mistake. The board has decided to follow the advice of its outlying resident consumers and focus on TV, especially TV that is sporadic and loud.
“Once you are hooked on meth you don’t really want to take a hike,” said board member Dave Blayton. “I mean maybe initially but that wears off and you need to do something between hits. As elected officials, we need to be true to our name and our mission and that is Meth Rec.”
“I forgot that meth eventually makes you really tired but you can’t sleep and what better recreation activity for such a situation than TV,” agreed board member Ian Fillick. “When we surveyed the users from the old towns that begin with P we got a clear message that while they might want to take a walk when they first use meth, they then spend a lot of time on the couch feeling their teeth decay. We feel an obligation to give the people what they want.”
“I really felt we needed a broader survey sample but Dareek said he rode his bike to Ohio City and didn’t see anyone because they were apparently all inside scratching the sores on their skin while watching reruns of Russia Today,” explained Meth Rec director Fredda Powerson. “I understand our original name and mission came about because of the easy access to meth rec but I think if we expanded the survey to people who did more than meth we would have a different result.”
“Maybe. But so what. This is easy,” concluded Sassy Shadeinthebed. “Who needs a Rec Center anyway?
