Lawson Yow takes 2022 SBX title

Amanda Whiteford wins women’s crown

[  by Than Acuff  ]

Anywhere from 40-50 bladers were on Old Pro Saturday, April 2 for a shot at the Snowblade Extremes (SBX) title and a chance to knock nine-time SBX World Champion Ben Blackwood off of his self-erected pedestal. Erected, that is, by the mere fact that he has won nine titles.

In the end, it happened, as Blackwood found himself in third place, Montana Wiggins took second and a new champion was crowned, or rather, belted. Lawson Yow, a self-admitted “multi-time third place finisher,” rose to the top of the list, head of the heap, king of the hill and did it his way to win.

 “It’s about time,” says Yow, after being patched through by his handler. “I’ve been the best blader for years. It was high time the judges recognized it. I’ve done some crowd analysis for years and the crowd loves backflips and that was the foundation of my strategy.”

“I am thrilled about getting third, that’s actually what I was aiming for,” Blackwood points out. “I knew I could win if I wanted to, but I decided to really challenge myself this year and blade with such precision to pinpoint a third place finish. That’s the level I’m at these days, and I’m such a humble, modest guy that I thought it would be nice to give Lawson and Montana some extra glory.”

Speaking of glory, Amanda Whiteford set the bar high for the burgeoning women’s field by winning the 2022 title. After two years of testing the SBX waters and learning a few tricks of the trade, one of which is to not leave clothing on course. Then there’s the choice of hydration.

“It feels pretty good,” says Whiteford. “I learned to just not get as hammered as everyone else and you’re totally fine. It also takes some fashion and style.”

Yow did share some respect for the nine-time winner though.

“You gotta respect your elders, he’s almost a Wilt Chamberlin type figure, some might even call him a dinosaur,” says Yow. “I recommend he get longer blades though. When you’re putting in a third place effort on the biggest day of the year, it might be time to find longer blades.”

And while Yow is certainly proud of his accomplishment, he did take time to recognize the effort of his blading peers, especially the women.

“Abby Sendbrick fooled around with long blades earlier this year and was injured but still made it to the venue on one ski and a full length brace on one leg,” Yow points out. “The dedication of Abby and champion Amanda makes me excited about the future of the bladies.”

But it’s not all about the winners as respect is doled out for those who still struggle with the artful dance of blading.

“The weakness of the line executed by Cara Yow was truly breathtaking,” says Yow. “Get that lady a walker with little blades instead of tennis balls, ya know?”

And just like he did when he was on the freeskiing, aka longbladers, tour, Matt Evans may have had the fastest time T-to-B on Saturday, or ever.

“That guy went faster than those Olympic nerds in China,” says Yow. “What do you call them? Downhill longblade racers?” 

Yow also took time to share some thoughts on Connor Sample, winner of the inaugural Charlie Parr Memorial “Sub-Parr Award.”

“It was an incredible degree of bladeness,” says Yow. “Suffered a right bladejection, pulled out a hockey puck and uniblade skated down the venue. I credit the power of the stache.”

“Charlie Parr represents everything joyous in our world, and we miss him deeply,” adds Blackwood. “In his honor, we created the Charlie Parr Memorial ‘Sub-Parr Award,’ and Connor Sample was immortalized as the first ever recipient for exemplifying why those of us in the world of snowblading are better than most people in the general public. We all love Charlie, and this award will help keep his spirit alive into eternity. Blade In Peace, our brother.”

As for Blackwood’s future, he has no questions. Unlike Tiger Woods who is still struggling to come back, Lebron James’ Lakers experiment and his offer to play for anyone who drafts his son, Tom Brady’s 40-day retirement and Lia Thomas, who identifies as woman and is bringing the house down switching from men’s to women’s NCAA swimming, Blackwood remains laser-focused.

“I’m so happy to see Lawson and Montana find success in the Snowblade World Championship,” admits Blackwood. “They deserve it, but there’s no torch being passed. My grip on that torch is just as firm as my grip on my junk while sending that monster crotch-grab spread eagle off the last cliff on the venue during my run. Lawson’s blading career has been building toward this pinnacle for a long time. He’s proved to be an elite player in this game, and there’s no doubt watching me and studying my blading for all these years has really paid off. I’m so proud of him for this accomplishment, and, although he may not be the best at expressing his true emotions, I sense how grateful he is for my influence on his life. When standing next to him at the top of the venue, I noticed he had on the blades of one of the all-time legends of snowblading – the late, great Charlie Parr. I knew right then this was Lawson’s time for greatness.” 

As for the rising tide of women bladers, or the bladies, Whiteford sees a bright and potentially dominant future for women in the SBX.

“There’s so many rad women who shred, we just gotta get them to compete,” says Whiteford. “There’s definitely a future where we could have the podium swept by women. Especially if they get rid of the moustache rule.”

Looking at the men’s field of bladers, Blackwood says this.

“The future is bright in the snowblade world, with Montana Wiggins possibly leading the way, but I feel I’m just hitting my peak,” reminds Blackwood. “As long as Ben Blackwood is on the scene, the future is going to have to wait. That said, I welcome the competition. I know everyone thinks I’m some sort of untouchable god. They’re not wrong, but I’m also just a regular guy. Just a regular guy with model good looks and unrivaled athletic ability and irresistible sex appeal. I put my skin-tight leather pants on one leg at a time – just like everybody else.”

But for now, Yow will embrace the spoils of the SBX title and has big plans for the coming year.

“They say most pro athletes are broke within three years, I plan to go out much faster than that,” says Yow.

Results

Men’s Champion:

Lawson Yow

Women’s Champion:

Amanda Whiteford

Sickblade Winner:

Matt Yockey

Charlie Parr Memorial Sub-Parr Award:

Connor Sample