APRIL FOOLS: Community found to be free of the coronavirus pandemic

“They don’t even want to be near each other”

by Stanley Merks

The numbers are staggering and the infection rate of the COVID-19 continues to ramp up with several epidemiologists explaining that it’s going to get much worse before it gets better.

Remarkably, there appears to be one community that remains free from the contagion, free of it completely.

Mimes.

It turns out mimes have zero positive tests for COVID-19 and are the least likely, bordering on never, contracting the virus.

But it’s not because of the boxes they have been putting themselves into for all of these years or the stairs they walk down and up. It simply comes down to what physicians, the CDC and everyone has been preaching the past three weeks.

Social distancing and self-isolation bordering on complete cultural exile.

“Let’s face it, people tend to keep their distance from them,” said epidemiologist consultant for the CDC Sam O’Nella. “They don’t even want to be near each other. They are the perfect community to evade any epidemics. In fact, there are no known cases of any maladies in the mime community. No nothing. STDs were ruled out years ago.”

When asked why he thought mimes can lead a COVID-19 free existence, a mime simply threw his hands in the air and climbed back into his imaginary box, once again.

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